Today on 'The View'

I wasn't going to write anymore about The View because I thought it was kind of over with Rosie's departure. But I just have to say, WTF with Barbara's hair? Why so fluffy Babs? This is a fashion don't you will regret when they have your retrospective after your death.

Paris Hilton is complaining about jail. This is news? That's almost as galling as UN housing project, Brad and Angelina complaining they aren't getting 'couple time'.



This -



is less embarassing than Babs new do.

Today on 'The View'

Sherri Shepherd guest hosts, I love her. She is crazy!! I hope she gets a permanent spot at the table if she even wants it. So - the last time Shepherd was on her husband had cheated on her after she had given birth to a sick premature baby that wasn't expected to live. She was threatening to kill the husband, the girlfriend and a flurry of other people. But now - she's back together with the cad and he even had a baby with the other woman. She showed a picture of her son and the new baby. CRAZY! Love her.

Things got nasty though when Joy decided to go after Bush and called for his impeachment with a list of every stupid thing he's done since taking the office, while singing Al Gore's praises. Joy is rabid, Rosie looks normal for about two seconds, then she went after Elizabeth hard core. But then Rosie decides to stop the yelling because she says Fox News will say, "Big fat lesbian Rosie attacks sweet Christian Elizabeth". This made Elizabeth shrill and start swinging back. There were a lot of 'Let Me Finish's!' going around. Sherri Shepherd says this is why she only watches "Dancing With The Stars" and no political shows. THEN Rosie let's it all hang out and shouts that Elizabeth is NOT her friend becuase Elizabeth wouldn't back her up when Rosie asked Elizabeth if she believed Rosie was saying the troops were terrorists, like the Republican pundits accused her of saying.

Rosie: "You said nothing and that's cowardly." Elizabeth: "Do not call me a coward, Rosie. I'll tell you what's cowardly. Asking a rhetorical quesion that you never answer yourself." They go split screen because you don't know who's going to hurl an hysterical personal attack next. We all know that Elizabeth and Rosie hated each other from the beginning and they've been trying to show who is the bigger woman by accepting the opposing views each one brings to the coffee klatch. But Rosie's leaving and Elizabeth is pregnant and hormonal, so here it is. It seems it's never going to end, Sherri Shepherd and Joy get up and pretend to leave the set. But then Joy realizes this shit ain't funny and she starts screaming "Whos' directing this show?? Let's go to commercial!"

Elizabeth's big zing that she's been storing up for almost a year, "It's much easier to fight with Donald Trump, isn't it?"

Alicia Silverstone comes out and looks very scared.

Today on 'The View'

I haven't been posting because I'm so depressed it's going to be boring without Rosie sticking her foot in her mouth, making Elizabeth heave and confusing octogenarian Walters. But today was a good one.

Rosie isn't making it to the Daytime Emmy's - family issue, right. Barbara says if the cast wins this year, she will be very disappointed that Rosie won't be there. Rosie says....."Well if we win for best cast, Barbara you get all the credit for hiring me."

I thought for a minute that it would go unnoticed, but luckily that sharp Joy Behar realized what was going on and later stopped to say, "So we're not good enough to win without you?" and awkward conversation followed. Basically Rosie was like, 'yes'. It was so uncomfortable and wonderful. Joy did not seem the same the rest of the show.

She also admonished the table during a heated Jimmy Carter discussion saying "One at a time ladies."

Bigger fight! Rosie attacked Elizabeth for watching Fox News when Fox said Rosie called our troops terrorists. Elizabeth said this is why... Rosie asks "Who are the terrorists?" when Iraqi civilians are dying by the thousands. Now, I'm no fan of Elizabeth or Republicans, and Fox News is a joke, but I can see why they would jump on that comment. It makes sense, but not to Rosie who then says Elizabeth "can't hold two thoughts at the same time" and that's why she couldn't understand that she wasn't calling the troops terrorists. Elizabeth is massively insulted. Then Rosie goes after Barbara and Joy. Barbara slaps down Rosie, Joy uses this as an opportunity to disagree with Rosie and sound smart. Whew!

Today on 'The View'

One great thing about Rosie leaving, we can ditch the menopause talk and Barbara Streisand worship. Yes, sometimes the two topics do intertwine.

I signed up for the Home Viewer winner thing. Which means, I sent my picture in and hope to win whatever items they're giving away to audience members. I don't think I'm ever going to win because I'm not an overweight housewife from Duluth. But I am willing to become an overweight housewife from Duluth if it means I could win the round trip tickets to London to see Barbara Streisand. Of course I would cash in the concert tickets and treat myself to a night on the town. Unless I do turn into an overweight housewife from Duluth, in which case I would also become a Streisand fan by default.

Today on 'The View'

What Rosie was thinking about during the show:






Everyone is pissed! What a shitstorm.

Joy threw down the gauntlet early on during Hot Topics by saying what with the Imus firing that there is now a pall over TV talkers. Here's what the ladies did to shatter that pall on the set today -

On the topic of the rape charges being dropped in the Duke Lacrosse team:

Rose McGowan (guest host) says even though they were not charged, it is clear that the Duke Boys have a 'history of inappropriate behaviour'.

Rosie says we can't talk about Don Imus because in doing so we avoid talking about Alberto Gonzales. Elizabeth says we're more than capable of talking about both. Honestly, if I start thinking about Imus with a visualization, I'm done for the day.

On the same topic:

Rose McGo said, "They wouldn't let a woman on the air who looked like that."

Rosie says Elizabeth only watches Fox News so is only getting good news about Iraq. Later she reveals that Elizabeth will be joining the 'Fox and Friends' morning show and actually told us to watch it. I guess showing, um, angry support?

Joy Behar makes a Heather Mills joke after seeing a clip from Grindhouse where Rose McGowan sports a machine gun leg. "If Heather Mills had that she would have gotten all of Paul's money." This is followed by dead silence. Dead. I've never seen that on TV before. Well, except for that weird Anthony Michael Hall period on Saturday Night Live.

Rose McG was on a big time roll attacking the press for not covering the bodies coming home from Iraq, I thought Rosie was going to have an orgasm listening to her and staring at her lithe figure. McGowan also said that people on the computer can say evil things and hide behind it. That's right baby!!!! You'll never find me!

I just realized, The Viewmaster, Bill Geddy, used to be on all the time. Meredith would reference him, Barbara would give him a nod, but he is gone. Did Rosie run him off? I think I'm onto a scandal. Stay tuned...

Today on 'The View'


There was a great debate over 'born again Virginity'. Elizabeth strongly encouraged young girls who have already had sex to re-consider having it again. Joy says no way is that going to happen. Rosie adds, "Once you've been to Tijuana, you like tequila."



Barb's got a boyfriend!! Rosie embarrassed her by asking if she would be vacationing with anyone special and she blushed and gave a 'Judy Guilliani' nod.

Rosie and Elizabeth got crafty and decorated Easter Eggs. I'm wondering if Rosie's obsession for crafting is hiding a deep depres- oh, right she's already told us that like 5,000 times. Rosie decorated an egg like Donald Trump, made it say 'Rosie is fat and ugly' over and over then smashed it. Really, therapy and meds Rosie. Therapy and meds.

Today on 'The View'

Jackie Reed guest hosts and wears a 'should I be worried about my professionalism?' face throught most of Hot Topics. The discussion is sex, sex, sex. Roise announces there is a new study that 40% of Americans are in sexless marriages, having sex only ten times a year. But backtracks and declares, 'Hey, that's not sexless - its' ten times a year!' Joy says 40% of Americans are getting more rest. Unfortunately Rosie gives us TMI about her life yet again and promotes 'appointment sex', which just sounds awesome. But much better than the tragically named, 'Lesbian Bed Death' which Rosie explains as two women who don't have the drive to continue the sexy sex after being in a longterm relationship. Nobody's making porno's about that!